Only week two of my summer break and I’m already starting to go slightly batty!!
My last post was a brief history of my life for my new therapist and I’m pleased to say that my therapy sessions have been going well 🙂 those, along with a slight increase in my medication to keep anxiety levels more in check, have left me feeling much more in balance with regards to everything.
Though in saying that, these past couple of days my moods have been a bit extreme. One moment I’m all full of energy and wanting to be all affectionate with J, then I’m all tired, then I’m all angry and “don’t touch me!!”. Really don’t understand….it’s not like I’m not getting enough sleep…I don’t think I’m getting too much sleep either, I just sleep until I wake up…maybe it is too much, it’s a good couple of hours more than J…
anyway, I shall discuss with my therapist tomorrow and see what he thinks. he uses narrative therapy, which is by far the best form of therapy that I’ve encountered so far. all my other therapists/counselors have been just like “talk” and i have to talk about me and myself, very difficult for me if I’m not given a starting point…but with narrative it’s more like he asks questions, the right kind of questions that make me think about things in a different way, and start to make sense of them. So, yay! 😀
Today I signed up to the Eden Ambassadors Program at Eden Fantasys (does the spelling of ‘fantasys’ annoy anyone else?). I had already been thinking about it, then I got an email from my good blogging friend, Violet, recommending I take a look. So now I’m officially a reviewer/ambassador, w00t!! Seriously, what’s not to like about getting a free toy per month in exchange for a testimony. So this blog will be becoming more NSFW, as I originally intended it to be. It’s a pity that you only get one product per month, because I really wouldn’t mind doing weekly reviews. Would certainly make the summer break go past more quickly.
I want to be back at uni and learning more already!! The original plan for over summer was to pick up extra hours through my debt collection job (currently do about 1hr/wk from home) but that fell through. There are some weeks now where I don’t even get the 1hr of work to do at home that I was before. But as it got closer and closer to the summer break, my mental state unraveled slightly. Having gotten my depression in order, anxiety had decided to screw me over well and truly, after just hanging out in the background for many years. So the backup plan of getting a temporary job over summer fell apart. There was no way that I was in the right head space to be doing that. Now that my medication has got things slightly more under control the boredom has started to set in. No time to be bored when you’re anxious about everything. My friend flexibeast on twitter suggested I try to find some volunteer work, which I’m seriously considering, though I’m not sure where to start looking. suggestions would be greatly appreciated in the comments, as well as any other ideas as to what I could do with my huge amounts of spare time. just remember I am a poor student, even poorer over the summer now that I’m not receiving any student allowance until I go back to uni – reminds me, I need to apply for next year’s student loan and allowance.
And on a final note, J introduced me to this fantastic blog earlier today, Hyperbole and a Half. It made me laugh so hard! Brought tears to the eyes. Also recommend watching Kick-Ass, lots of laugh-out-loud moments, and District 9, for a reminder of how fucked up humans are, how we always come in and take control and advantage of situations (you may want to watch Kick-Ass second, make you feel better about things).
Don’t forget that boredom killer suggestions! You could even just email me, tell me about your day or just have a chat about anything 🙂