Sexuality and Spirituality

A conversation with Alexis (flexibeast) today got me thinking about the connections between my own sexuality and spirituality. Some of the following is directly quoted from Alexis from our GTalk conversation and are used with her permission.

My beliefs are very eclectic. I used to practice Wicca, so I still have a little bit of that influence along with some broad Celtic/Nordic influences, particularly St Brigid and the Tree of Life. I was raised Anglican and was confirmed when I was 16. Shortly after then was when I first delved into pagan spirituality. I do believe in Jesus, but with an Islamic view that he was a prophet. I also believe in reincarnation and the belief that our own spirit chooses lessons for us to learn before this life begins. If you commit suicide, then you have to start that life all over again with the same lessons and problems. It’s this belief that has saved me from myself on several occasions. Alexis put it brilliantly with this quote:

alexis:
*nod* There’s a great quote from bash.org, where someone says “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”, and someone else says “I’m a Buddhist, i think suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem”. 🙂

I’m a firm believer that all religions are different perceptions of the same thing. There’s more than one path to the top of the mountain so to speak. It makes sense that if all paths lead to the same place, that you can take bits of the different paths that work best for you.

Spirituality and sexuality are so incredibly linked together, something Alexis and I both agree on. We both have had problems finding others who share this belief. While there are examples of solo sexual ritual:

In other religions, singing and dancing are considered pleasing to God. Voluntary sex and masturbation is, in Paganism, considered another natural, normal part of singing and dancing. In Paganism, the God and the Goddess are seen as wanting to see people be happy. Showing the Divine the happiness and intensity of orgasm is thought to make the Divine happy.

Generally there seems to be the idea that “sexuality and spirituality are mutually exclusive”.

alexis:
*nod* Obviously i feel the same way [that sexuality and spirituality are so incredibly linked together]. 🙂 But often when i’ve tried to talk about this with other pagans, i get the “you’re just a swinger” thing, either openly or implicitly.

Fae:
it’s hard to find people on the same wavelength sometimes, especially when the way you feel about things seems so different from the way the majority thinks

alexis:
*nod* Yep. E.g. most sex-positive peeps i’ve come across seem to be atheist, and sometimes stridently so.

Fae:
*nods* i’ve found that too

alexis:
*nod* Which is why it’s wonderful to be able to talk to you about this stuff. 🙂

Fae:
yay 😀

alexis:
😀 So if i may ask, how does sexuality appear in your spiritual practice(s)?

Fae:
honestly at the moment there isn’t a lot, if any… J considers himself an atheist [i think he’s secretly agnostic] and i haven’t found a suitable partner for the spiritual/sexual aspect yet

alexis:
😦
(Metacomment: Please let me know if any question i ask is too personal!)

Fae:
i will 🙂 i’m pretty open about everything

alexis:
But if you did have a suitable partner, what sort of stuff would you be interested in doing?

Fae:
interesting question, honestly i don’t know the answer… i haven’t really looked into which rituals would be suitable because i’ve never had a suitable partner

alexis:
Ah. Well, for myself, i’ve been doing the masturbation-as-meditation thing.
But also i’ve found it difficult to find prewritten rituals in any case, mainly due to cis- and hetero-centrism.

I suppose that’s one of the problems with not following an organised religion and being a solitary practitioner, there’s no set way of doing things.

Ideally I need to find a partner to help me honour The Spirit, The Goddess and The Horned God. Self-love and masturbation only goes so far. That’s were polyamory comes in, different partners fulfill different needs. And being pansexual, you’d think that would double, if not even triple, my odds of finding a suitable spiritual partner. But I have the feeling that the journey to find that suitable partner is going to take a long time, as all spiritual journeys tend to be. I mean, it took me long enough to find J!!


7 thoughts on “Sexuality and Spirituality

  1. Pingback: Guest Post: Spirituality and the Sex-Positive Community « Faeteardrop's Musings

  2. I experience sex in a wholistic way (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual). without the spiritual, it’s just not as fulfilling, something is missing. The closest thing to bringing the sexual and spiritual together (that i have expereinced) is Tantra. Tantra can mean different things to different people. For me (a person who naturally feels the energy of others/empathic) sex can never exclude the spiritual. Finding the right energetic match is ideal…and a journey! hehehe.
    Sorry i have no experience of any religious or pagan background so can’t offer ideas there.

    P.s The Spirituality and Sex-Positive Community post of Faeteardrops, is really good! I’m just starting to observe this myself in amongst some in the sex pos community. Again, why does spirituality and sex have to be in duality when it’s SO SO SO much more fun putting it together!

    • If you’re talking about this post, that was actually written by my good friend Alexis. It does actually say that at the beginning of the post 🙂 Because I’m the only author for this blog, that’s why it says the post is by me 🙂

      I agree that it is an excellent post and it does invoke the need to further analyse why the sex-positive community continues to look down on spirituality. I’ll pass your compliment on to her 🙂

      • Thank you 🙂

        I was talking about your post (Sexuality and Spirituality) and Alexis’ post. Sorry if i came across as confusing (it’s late, that’s my excuse, hehe).
        Nice to hear of people talking about this stuff 🙂

        • Hehe I will use the same reasonings for getting myself confused :p

          I agree that it is good to get a discourse going about this, to try getting both sides to understand each other more

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