“Erotica” to Make You Giggle

You know that banner over to the right that warns you about posts and links that may be Not Safe For Work (NSFW)? This is one of those posts, and has some of those links.

While trawling through the month-long back-log of my Google Reader, I came across this post by Violet Blue which put me on to this little gem: Fifty Shades Generator.

Inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, which is to erotica and BDSM what Twilight is to vampires (spoiler: not that great), upon clicking Ms Blue’s link, I was greeted with this:

The slamming makes me splurge my clunge gunge all over his skin flute. Within no time, I could feel the shitty steamin’ semen trickling from my mavis fritter and all over my hairy goblet. There was cock custard weeping from his ocean’s 11 inches and I was wetter than a well diggers arse. We were ready for more. My mouth was so full of cheese-crusted cock and Da Vinci load, the creamy load was flowing down my chin and onto my superdroopers. The feeling of his love piss salivating down my throat got my vertical moisture flowing quicker than greased shit off a shiny shovel.

Seriously, splurge my clunge gunge!? That’s brilliant, and some pretty fantastic random generation.

Clicking on “generate more” did not disappoint:

After having my chamber of squelch fucked, he then proceeded to slam my mavis fritter. When he removed his brie baton from my cocoa channel, he was pleasantly surprised to see a Mr. Hanky staring back as him. He knew I couldn’t wait to gobble the Mr. Hanky off his spam dagger. I can’t wait to suck the baby gravy from his stilton sword. Inserting a footlong fudge bullet into my smush mitten got me spouting spaff faster than a greased weasel shit. The unrelenting orgasms from his veiny quim prod hammering my cod crater made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container.

Is it talking about scat play? I’m pretty sure it’s talking about scat play.

And while that makes me a tad uncomfortable (hard limit there), the number of different types of slang used is astounding. Even though the paragraph was generated by a computer, someone still had to enter those terms, had to think up those terms.

So go on, embrace your immaturity, if only for a moment.

2 thoughts on ““Erotica” to Make You Giggle

  1. OMG Look at what it generated when i went for a visit! Love it! How appropriate too. It’s all food themed. My favorite porn.

    “My cake hole was so full of eight inches of throbbing pink jesus and love mayonnaise, the man fat was dribbling down my chin and onto my fiery biscuits. The unrelenting orgasms from his disco stick plowing my whispering eye made me come so hard, I began sweating like a fat slag in a disco. He munched on my roast beef platter, even though I’d been riding the cotton pony for the best part of a week. By now, my enchilada of love was slobbering like a slug in a salt mine. With his all-beef thermometer plowing deep into my south mouth, the sensation of his wensleydale wand smashing my cervix made me quake like a tasered slab of chopped liver.”

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