Sometimes being bipolar is a real drag.
I’m closing in on my second week of this hypomanic cycle and it’s becoming a drag.
I’m sitting here, on the couch, tapping this out on my iPhone because I can’t sleep. Feeling pretty tired, but my mind feels otherwise.
This is my first decent manic cycle for a while. Got all worked up over how the painters were doing the windows, then the lacking water pressure in the renovated bathroom got me really angry, even though we’ve always had low hot water pressure. Now I’ve got the laughing because “everything is hilarious.” It really isn’t though, and on the inside, I’m pretty horrified at how long it can go on for. Giggling mess, but not in a good way. And of course there’s the being AWAKE.
I’ve been trying to write for NaNoWriMo, and while I can feel the story I want to write inside me, it’s getting stifled while it’s trying to come out.
I think that’s the worse part of all of this. It would be better if the mania was at least creative, that it could be channelled in some way. Then maybe the other issues would be lessened.
The way I am now, I’m either dysphoric and irrational, or sad (though that’s pretty settled now that I’m off Effexor). It’s getting incredibly frustrating.