Questions & Answers Part 4 NSFW

A roundup of the latest questions that I have been asked through

Now I haven’t done this roundup for a while, the last one being about four months ago (had problems with formspring talking to WordPress), so there’s a bit of a backlog unfortunately.

Who are the 5 people you talk with the most on Twitter?
I really don’t know, it varies from week to week

Thinking of the single, best orgasm you have ever had… who, what, when, where, why, and/or how did you get there?
That’s actually a hard one to answer. All the best ones tend to merge together. Common factors seem to be the best ones are caused by me and my trusty vibrator, either after sex when lots of the ground work has already been done, or late at night when I can’t sleep

Have you been dared to do something sexual? If yes, what was the dare and did you do it?
Nope I haven’t

If you could go to any era/decade/time, and live there what one would it be and why?
1920s America, I love the fashion! Even thgh I prolly wld have ended up in a mental asylum

Have you ever fantasized about participating in a gang bang (giving or receiving)? And have you actually participed in one? If yes, would you do it again?
Yes I have fantasized abt being at the receiving end of a gang bang, both male and female 🙂

Do you believe alcohol or any other mind altering substance enhances or hinders sex? If you have a story of a good or bad experience, feel free to share it.
Alcohol does both for me. On the one hand it lowers inhibitions and can increase a guy’s duration. But on the other hand it can make people say stupid things and make it so people just get tired instead of in the mood.

What’s the secret to happiness?
Haven’t found it yet

Would you stay alone for a night in a haunted house for ten thousand dollars?

If you could live a day in the life of anyone throughout history, who would it be? Why?
No idea sorry. Enough trouble living my own life

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?
Vanilla cupcakes 🙂

Do you have a sexual fantasy you might have second thoughts about if the opportunity actually presented itself?
Gang bang

What’s the one thing that gets you most aroused?
Being taken charge of, while still being respected

iPhone or Blackberry?

Best position to be caught in??
Only been caught once in missionary

You have a whole day to yourself, what do you do?
This happens often, I’m boring and read or watch tv

what gives the strongest orgasm: 1) anal 2) oral 3) g-spot 4) clit 5) doggy 6) cowgirl 7) missionary 8 ) tweeting
Clit, closely followed by missionary

Can certain exercises really lead to better sex?
Thts not my area of expertise

Ask me absolutely anything!

Rabbit Write’s Porn Secrets & Lady Porn Day

Rabbit Write has started a Porn Secret project, in conjunction with Lady Porn Day, “[these] are real confessions about porn submitted anonymously by real women.” Now, Lady Porn Day was actually on 22 February 2011, but of course there was (and still is) the whole fatal Christchurch earthquake to deal with, and I’m still catching up.

The following images are my favourite from the Porn Secret project so far. You can see more here.

Be sure to take a look at both the Porn Secret Round-Up and the information page about Lady Porn Day, and join “the [celebration] of pornography and masturbation.”

The Sexual Bucket List

I saw this little list over at Mrs Discontented’s blog and thought I might give it a go. It’s a sexual bucket list of 50 sexual things you should do before you die and can be originally found here. Should be fun 🙂

Kiss a girl – Yup, more than a couple
Have anal – Yup, doesn’t happen very often though
Have a threesome – Yes indeedy, a couple of times
Engage in group sex – Yup, I sure have
Have phone sex – Phone sex, text sex, big ol’ yes
Masturbate – Of course!!
Use a vibrator – Yup, this and masturbation do tend to go somewhat hand-in-hand
Use a sex toy on someone else – Yup, great fun 😀
Be tied up – Nope, but I do have some restraints that we haven’t gotten around to using yet
Tie someone up – No, I would be the one that gets tied up… unless, of course, I get instructed to tie someone up… I’m sadomasochistic that way
Have sex in a public space – Yup, once in the changing rooms at a swimming pool
Be a voyeur and watch others having sex (live, porn does not count) – Yup, that tends to happen when you engage in group sex and visit Club SE
Sex in a car – Nope and I can’t imagine it would be very easy
Sex at a drive-in -Nope, don’t have drive-in’s here
Mile-high club – Nope, and like sex in a car, I can’t imagine this would be particularly easy
Sex with a stranger – Nope
One-night stand – Yep, a couple of times
Married sex (the best kind, in my opinion) – Nope, gotta be married first to be able to have that
Sex on a boat – Nope, not a big fan of boats
Sex in a body of water – Nope, not really a fan of water or swimming either
Light spanking – Yup and heavy spanking.
Read erotica – Yup, it’s great, depending on the author and style of writing, but you can say that with any kind of literature
Play strip poker/Monopoly/card game – Yup, it’s a good ice breaker when meeting for group sex for the first time
Sex in the shower – Yup, can make for some interesting positions
Sex standing up against a wall – Nope, haven’t found a partner who is the right height for it to happen
Sex with no kissing – Yup, just the once though. I’m a big fan of kissing while engaging in sex but sometimes that doesn’t work in group sex.
Sex in the pitch black – Yup
Sex in the broad daylight – Yup
Making out with no sex long after you’re no longer a virgin – Yup, it’s not all about PnV sex, sometimes you can reach the level of connection need just through kissing and roaming hands
Sex in a tent in the wilderness – Nope, but I would love to, don’t even need the tent!!
Watch porn together – Yup, a couple who watch porn together, stay together 🙂
Watch porn alone – Yup
Learn to give yourself multiple orgasms – Yup, I sure have 😀
Sex on the beach – Nope, and I have no desire to get sand into places that sand really shouldn’t go
Blindfolds – Yup, just the once though, should do it more often
Using ice sexually – Yup
Sexual role play – Nope, interested though
Whipped cream – Nope, have used ice cream though
La Perla lingerie sex – Um no, I don’t understand why this is on the list…
Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie sex – No, don’t understand why this one is here either…
Sex with someone much older – Yup, a 40yr old, 34yr old and 32yr old while I was 22 (my “slut phase”)
Sex with someone younger (legal!) – Yup, a couple of 20yr olds while I was 24
Sex in a foreign country, possibly with a foreigner – Nope, honeymoon should fix that though
A quickie in a skirt – Yup
A longie in the rain – Nope, I imagine that would just get really cold
Sex in the ocean while people swim all around you – Nope
Feather ticklers – Have one, it just tickles though
Sex while “altered” whether by alcohol or something else – Yup, not for a pretty long time though
Learn to orgasm in less than five minutes from intercourse alone – Yup, that’s why foreplay is important 😀
Silent sex in a full house – Yup, hard for me to keep quiet though… I get a bit caught up in the moment

And there you have it! Possibly more than you ever needed to know about me 😛

Sexuality and Spirituality

A conversation with Alexis (flexibeast) today got me thinking about the connections between my own sexuality and spirituality. Some of the following is directly quoted from Alexis from our GTalk conversation and are used with her permission.

My beliefs are very eclectic. I used to practice Wicca, so I still have a little bit of that influence along with some broad Celtic/Nordic influences, particularly St Brigid and the Tree of Life. I was raised Anglican and was confirmed when I was 16. Shortly after then was when I first delved into pagan spirituality. I do believe in Jesus, but with an Islamic view that he was a prophet. I also believe in reincarnation and the belief that our own spirit chooses lessons for us to learn before this life begins. If you commit suicide, then you have to start that life all over again with the same lessons and problems. It’s this belief that has saved me from myself on several occasions. Alexis put it brilliantly with this quote:

*nod* There’s a great quote from, where someone says “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”, and someone else says “I’m a Buddhist, i think suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem”. 🙂

I’m a firm believer that all religions are different perceptions of the same thing. There’s more than one path to the top of the mountain so to speak. It makes sense that if all paths lead to the same place, that you can take bits of the different paths that work best for you.

Spirituality and sexuality are so incredibly linked together, something Alexis and I both agree on. We both have had problems finding others who share this belief. While there are examples of solo sexual ritual:

In other religions, singing and dancing are considered pleasing to God. Voluntary sex and masturbation is, in Paganism, considered another natural, normal part of singing and dancing. In Paganism, the God and the Goddess are seen as wanting to see people be happy. Showing the Divine the happiness and intensity of orgasm is thought to make the Divine happy.

Generally there seems to be the idea that “sexuality and spirituality are mutually exclusive”.

*nod* Obviously i feel the same way [that sexuality and spirituality are so incredibly linked together]. 🙂 But often when i’ve tried to talk about this with other pagans, i get the “you’re just a swinger” thing, either openly or implicitly.

it’s hard to find people on the same wavelength sometimes, especially when the way you feel about things seems so different from the way the majority thinks

*nod* Yep. E.g. most sex-positive peeps i’ve come across seem to be atheist, and sometimes stridently so.

*nods* i’ve found that too

*nod* Which is why it’s wonderful to be able to talk to you about this stuff. 🙂

yay 😀

😀 So if i may ask, how does sexuality appear in your spiritual practice(s)?

honestly at the moment there isn’t a lot, if any… J considers himself an atheist [i think he’s secretly agnostic] and i haven’t found a suitable partner for the spiritual/sexual aspect yet

(Metacomment: Please let me know if any question i ask is too personal!)

i will 🙂 i’m pretty open about everything

But if you did have a suitable partner, what sort of stuff would you be interested in doing?

interesting question, honestly i don’t know the answer… i haven’t really looked into which rituals would be suitable because i’ve never had a suitable partner

Ah. Well, for myself, i’ve been doing the masturbation-as-meditation thing.
But also i’ve found it difficult to find prewritten rituals in any case, mainly due to cis- and hetero-centrism.

I suppose that’s one of the problems with not following an organised religion and being a solitary practitioner, there’s no set way of doing things.

Ideally I need to find a partner to help me honour The Spirit, The Goddess and The Horned God. Self-love and masturbation only goes so far. That’s were polyamory comes in, different partners fulfill different needs. And being pansexual, you’d think that would double, if not even triple, my odds of finding a suitable spiritual partner. But I have the feeling that the journey to find that suitable partner is going to take a long time, as all spiritual journeys tend to be. I mean, it took me long enough to find J!!