Because It Affects All of Us

This is a pretty fantastic post about a cis white guy and his response to an equally pretty awful post which appeared in the UK’s Observer:

Here’s why I take transgender issues personally…

Because I or someone I love might get cancer at some point, and a trans person who is capable of discovering the cure is otherwise occupied defending their right to exist.

I live in a world that needs leadership, and a smart, tireless trans person who should maybe be President is busy arguing that they deserve basic human respect.

I want to drive a fucking flying car someday, and the trans person who might invent it is stuck responding to Guardian editorials that treat them like they’re subhuman.

Dan Solomon, The Frisky

It shows that there are actually people don’t live solely in their own bubble, not caring about the consequences of what they say/do.  There are people who realise that unless we get our shit together and treating everyone else the way we expect to be treated, the way they deserve to be treated, no matter their race, gender, sexuality, and the way they choose to display their identity.  If we can’t do that, then every single one of us is fucked.  And that makes me despair for humanity a little less, and the future is a little less bleak.

H/T Violet Blue



If you’re reading this anywhere but That Girl, Fae or a feed reader without attribution, it has been STOLEN! Who knew that my stuff was that good? ~ Fae

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That Girl, Fae by R Simpson-Large aka Fae Teardrop is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 New Zealand License.

More Hate/Phobia In The Bisexual Community

NOTE: I have placed emphasis on the responses to the original post.  Seriously though, where do people get off, telling others who they can identify as and who they can be attracted to *rage*  I should also note that the responses (the rant) is from pronounnotfound (I think) and is not my own writing.  I just placed emphasis to make it easier to read.

Snagged from Pansexual Pride Flag:

Can I just say, I HATE it when people refer to themselves as pansexual?

Yes, you can say. Freedom of speech, blah blah blah. But just because you have the right doesn’t make it right to say.

It’s like they’re putting themselves up on this nonexistent pedestal. The definition of pansexual is ‘being attracted to ALL genders’.

Good job, you can read a dictionary and/or know basic prefixes.


NEWSFLASH: You’re wrong. Not only are you wrong, but you are not the ultimate arbiter of what is and isn’t.

As in bi-. So if you don’t care which of the two your mate is, you are bi-sexual.

Again, there are more than two! It’s not a fucking “which” sort of choice!

Other definitions say its the attraction to who a person really is, the attraction to their mind and not their sex.

Attraction, a word which here means, you want that person. In whatever way. If we were all intangible minds floating around, it’d be different, but we’re not. We’re flesh and blood, male and female. You can be attracted to one of the two, both of the two, or none of the two. There’s no fourth option.

Attraction, a word which means here… attraction. I’m just going to throw out romantic attractions here. There is a fourth option. And a fifth and a sixth and a seventh, etc. I really think, here, what is happening is that you are conflating sexual attraction and romantic attraction. You seem aware of the fact that asexual people exist (still no cookies for you), but you seem to be unaware of the fact that many asexual people still have happy, healthy relationships even though they don’t experience sexual attraction to people. Why? Because they are romantically attracted to people. I won’t keep going on on this point, as I am not asexual. If any of my asexy followers want to take this part up, go for it. And, having said that, I am going to point out that people who aren’t asexual also have romantic attractions. Most people do. I know a few people here and there who are bisexual, but only heteroromantic. Just. Yeah.

Also on this point, sex ≠ gender. A vagina doesn’t make you a woman. It makes you the owner of a vagina. I know some pretty fucking awesome men who are also the owners of vaginae. And and and. Sex itself isn’t even binary, let alone gender. This statement that “we’re all…male and female” is false. You’re erasing intersex people right there. If you don’t know what intersex is, Google it. And, even in the male and female sexes, there is room for much variation.

It’s a pet peeve of mine.

Ignorance is a pet peeve of mine.

Like, you’re pansexual. Okay, what does that mean? You like pans? When I hear the prefix pan- I think pandorama, pandemic. Everything everywhere. Pair it with -sexual and the visual I get is anything that breathes. Animals included.

Right, because pansexual people don’t get this load of bullshit all the time. You aren’t witty or edgy by saying this. Seriously. All right. I’ll be frank. I always have a hard time refuting this for two reasons: 1) I get really pissed off when people make this statement and 2) I end up stumbling all over my words. But run with me for a minute. Following this logic, that pan means all, period, rocks and trees and steel girders and everything, then what does bi- mean in the same context? Two of what? Like… are bisexual people attracted to men and… hooded sweatshirts? That’s two things. That would be bisexual by your logic, right? That little -sexual bit is the key part, here. So, please, fuck off with all the funni jokesies abt teh silleh pansexual ppls. We deal with that shit all the time. It’s tiresome and repetitive.

I feel like it’s just another silly label people have made up to make themselves feel special in some way.

No. Just… no. People, in general, don’t “make up labels” for giggles. They make labels because they fit them better than labels that existed previously. They make labels because they have the right to define themselves. You know who doesn’t have the right to define other people? You and other ignorant asses like you with opinions.

In this one post, you have managed to erase people with non-binary genders and intersex people and you’ve insulted anyone with a multi-sexual orientation that isn’t bi. And probably a lot of people who are bi, too, to be frank. And people with multi-romantic orientations. And people with romantic orientation, which is a lot of people. This is all a lot of people. Please, educate yourself before you go around bashing people by using antiquated ideas of sex and gender and sexual orientation.

I can’t anymore. I am tired of being erased and demeaned and being unable to articulately defend myself. So here it is. A pissed off response. And you know what? I know some pansexual people who take on the label without really understanding it and then run around being all high and mighty about it. Maybe I even come off that way sometimes, I don’t know. But that is not every pansexual person. Stop lumping everyone together. You don’t do it with straight people, do you? You don’t have one bad experience with a straight person where they are rude to you and then run around saying every straight person is rude and the straight orientation makes people rude and only rude people identify as straight, do you? No? I didn’t think so. So don’t do it to people with other orientations, either.

This fails, I know. If someone wants to pick it up and do a better job than I did, go for it. Seriously.

Stronger Than I Think

Gah!! The image link is broken. Sorry folks, pretty sure it’s gone forever. The post still makes general sense though, I just can’t provide the source of the inspiration.

After this post on Monday, I had an interesting conversation with @_HannahTweets_:

Note: You read this from bottom to top, in case you are unfamiliar with Twitter

This got me thinking. One of the issues stemming from my fight with depression is that I care way too much about what others may think of me. Compare this to the way I present myself to the world, and there’s a giant contradiction. I stand staunchly by my beliefs, though not completely blindly, and try to help others become aware of the vast number of social problems that plague this planet. The way I dress, my hair, my piercings and tattoos are all a giant shout out to the world on behalf of my own self identity. Almost begging (for lack of a better word) for others to take notice.

And yet, in my dark and uncertain times I constantly worry about what others must be thinking about me, the anxiety completely taking over. I mean, of course they must be judging me, I don’t really give them much of a choice.

Surprisingly, I almost never worry what others may think of my weight. Is this because I am always seeing other people who are a lot larger than me? Perhaps.

It doesn’t really make sense how I can be confident, while at the same time have this doubt swimming around inside of me. Though this doubt does seem to filter through to my relationships with others. I struggle to make and retain friends. Maybe this is due to the combined effect of both the confidence and the doubt.

Dealing with this strange combination (I think it’s strange, though it’s probably much more common than I realize) is much easier in the wide world of the Internets. There’s a much larger pool of people from which to make contact with, making it more likely to find others who think and feel about things the same way you do. It’s because of the internet that I became aware of my interests in women’s rights, queer rights, human rights, fat acceptance, sex-positivity etc, and it’s through the internet that I was able to find others like me.

I think as I’m getting older, becoming more in tune with my own self, my confidence will out shine the doubt more and more. In the meantime, I’m going to fake it ’til I make it, belief is half the battle after all.