Words That Hurt

I’ve decided I’m going to remove the “Words That Hurt” link from the header bar.  From now on you’ll be able to find the relevant pages under “Words That Hurt” in the Categories drop down menu just over to the right –>

Below is the content which was on the original “Words That Hurt” page:

Following are links to posts included in the Words That Hurts series:

Can’t You Feel The Love? Biphobia in The Bisexual Community
Crazy Words
More Hate/Phobia In The Bisexual Community
Words That Hurt & Why
Words That Are Biphobic & Why
Words That Are Transphobic & Why

More Hate/Phobia In The Bisexual Community

NOTE: I have placed emphasis on the responses to the original post.  Seriously though, where do people get off, telling others who they can identify as and who they can be attracted to *rage*  I should also note that the responses (the rant) is from pronounnotfound (I think) and is not my own writing.  I just placed emphasis to make it easier to read.

Snagged from Pansexual Pride Flag:

Can I just say, I HATE it when people refer to themselves as pansexual?

pronounnotfound:
Yes, you can say. Freedom of speech, blah blah blah. But just because you have the right doesn’t make it right to say.

pyroblackcat:
It’s like they’re putting themselves up on this nonexistent pedestal. The definition of pansexual is ‘being attracted to ALL genders’.

Good job, you can read a dictionary and/or know basic prefixes.

NEWSFLASH: THERE’S ONLY TWO.

NEWSFLASH: You’re wrong. Not only are you wrong, but you are not the ultimate arbiter of what is and isn’t.

As in bi-. So if you don’t care which of the two your mate is, you are bi-sexual.

Again, there are more than two! It’s not a fucking “which” sort of choice!

Other definitions say its the attraction to who a person really is, the attraction to their mind and not their sex.

Attraction, a word which here means, you want that person. In whatever way. If we were all intangible minds floating around, it’d be different, but we’re not. We’re flesh and blood, male and female. You can be attracted to one of the two, both of the two, or none of the two. There’s no fourth option.

Attraction, a word which means here… attraction. I’m just going to throw out romantic attractions here. There is a fourth option. And a fifth and a sixth and a seventh, etc. I really think, here, what is happening is that you are conflating sexual attraction and romantic attraction. You seem aware of the fact that asexual people exist (still no cookies for you), but you seem to be unaware of the fact that many asexual people still have happy, healthy relationships even though they don’t experience sexual attraction to people. Why? Because they are romantically attracted to people. I won’t keep going on on this point, as I am not asexual. If any of my asexy followers want to take this part up, go for it. And, having said that, I am going to point out that people who aren’t asexual also have romantic attractions. Most people do. I know a few people here and there who are bisexual, but only heteroromantic. Just. Yeah.

Also on this point, sex ≠ gender. A vagina doesn’t make you a woman. It makes you the owner of a vagina. I know some pretty fucking awesome men who are also the owners of vaginae. And and and. Sex itself isn’t even binary, let alone gender. This statement that “we’re all…male and female” is false. You’re erasing intersex people right there. If you don’t know what intersex is, Google it. And, even in the male and female sexes, there is room for much variation.

It’s a pet peeve of mine.

Ignorance is a pet peeve of mine.

Like, you’re pansexual. Okay, what does that mean? You like pans? When I hear the prefix pan- I think pandorama, pandemic. Everything everywhere. Pair it with -sexual and the visual I get is anything that breathes. Animals included.

Right, because pansexual people don’t get this load of bullshit all the time. You aren’t witty or edgy by saying this. Seriously. All right. I’ll be frank. I always have a hard time refuting this for two reasons: 1) I get really pissed off when people make this statement and 2) I end up stumbling all over my words. But run with me for a minute. Following this logic, that pan means all, period, rocks and trees and steel girders and everything, then what does bi- mean in the same context? Two of what? Like… are bisexual people attracted to men and… hooded sweatshirts? That’s two things. That would be bisexual by your logic, right? That little -sexual bit is the key part, here. So, please, fuck off with all the funni jokesies abt teh silleh pansexual ppls. We deal with that shit all the time. It’s tiresome and repetitive.

I feel like it’s just another silly label people have made up to make themselves feel special in some way.

No. Just… no. People, in general, don’t “make up labels” for giggles. They make labels because they fit them better than labels that existed previously. They make labels because they have the right to define themselves. You know who doesn’t have the right to define other people? You and other ignorant asses like you with opinions.

In this one post, you have managed to erase people with non-binary genders and intersex people and you’ve insulted anyone with a multi-sexual orientation that isn’t bi. And probably a lot of people who are bi, too, to be frank. And people with multi-romantic orientations. And people with romantic orientation, which is a lot of people. This is all a lot of people. Please, educate yourself before you go around bashing people by using antiquated ideas of sex and gender and sexual orientation.

I can’t anymore. I am tired of being erased and demeaned and being unable to articulately defend myself. So here it is. A pissed off response. And you know what? I know some pansexual people who take on the label without really understanding it and then run around being all high and mighty about it. Maybe I even come off that way sometimes, I don’t know. But that is not every pansexual person. Stop lumping everyone together. You don’t do it with straight people, do you? You don’t have one bad experience with a straight person where they are rude to you and then run around saying every straight person is rude and the straight orientation makes people rude and only rude people identify as straight, do you? No? I didn’t think so. So don’t do it to people with other orientations, either.

This fails, I know. If someone wants to pick it up and do a better job than I did, go for it. Seriously.
/rant

Can’t You Feel The Love? Biphobia in The Bisexual Community

I recently came across this post on Tumblr:

I love how everyone thinks that bi sexual spread diesases ummm hello so does every other sexuality out there god damn!! i dont understand and not every single bi sexual is a slut or a whore….there are some normal people out there seriously…i extermely dislike the people who are bi sexual for fun or think guys like it or this bi curious b.s you r or u arent sorry thats just how i feel about it
Submitted by jellybean93
[Note from FYBis: using ‘normal’ to describe a set of individuals may infer that there is something wrong with those who don’t ‘fit in’ that model but regardless of whether you are promiscuous, or not – nobody is the ‘poster child’ for bisexuality’]

There are so many things wrong with this statement by jellybean93… way to spread hate with more hate *thumbs up*

Being bi curious is completely valid, it doesn’t mean that you’re only doing it to please guys or because it’s “fashionable”, it means what it says, that you’re curious and questioning your sexuality. Being judgmental about it is really just another form of biphobia.

Many people have a fluid sexuality that changes throughout their life time. There is no “either you are or you’re not”. That’s the same as saying you’re either straight or gay, something those in the bisexual / pansexual / omnisexual / nonmonosexual community are constantly fighting against. Sexuality is a spectrum, and a person’s place on that spectrum is not fixed. That’s actually one of the reasons I identify as queer, as well as pansexual.

I would also like to point out that being a slut or a whore doesn’t mean that you’re not practicing safe sex, to infer otherwise is just slut shaming. Also, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being slutty or a whore, enjoying consensual, responsible safe sex is what matters, not how many different partners you have, or how often those partners change.

h/t fuckyeahbisexuals